Transitive
by SkyeRose
Summary: And this truly had to be the seventh circle of hell. No, really. Of all the missions she'd been on in six plus years of going through the gate, this had to be the worst. Not only did she not get to blow anything up- no, that would've been fun. A tale of love, laughs, and Sam's brain breaking. And some foodmeat. SamJack two-parter
1. Chapter 1

**Transitive**

_**Defined as having or taking a direct object**_

**Chapter One: Seventh Circle**

**A/N: Man, Sam gets hit on so much on other planets. It must be a nice ego boost. But also, creepy. So let's explore the creepy! But in a harmless way. **

**Enjoy!**

And this truly had to be the seventh circle of hell. No, really. Of all the missions she'd been on in six plus years of going through the gate, this _had_ to be the worst. Not only did she not get to blow anything up- no, that would've been fun. Instead, SG-1 had been ordered to stay on this rock for three _whole days_ and learn with and about the natives. That was the exact directive, word for word.

"With and about, my ass." Sam grumbled, running her fingers through her hair for the billionth time. They were being anthropologists again and it was all Daniel's fault. Daniel who just had to go and beg the general for this mission because this culture was just _so_ fascinating. Why though? There was nothing here they hadn't seen exactly thirty seven times before.

"You have such a beautiful smile." Sam stiffened, a single line appearing between her brows, and turned to face the voice that had so rudely interrupted her incredibly productive train of thought.

Before her stood a relatively short native man. He was wearing the traditional garb of a high court officer and the pompous smirk of the same rank. Wonderful. "I'm not actually smiling." Sam did her best to keep all tone out of her voice and judging by his smirk, he wouldn't have cared either way.

"Ah, you just aren't smiling yet."

Okay. No.

"Wow, this charred food….meat, just hit me. Gotta go." Giving her most dazzling smile, Sam turned and walked towards the center table, keeping towards the edge of the giant fire pit. Man these people really loved fire. Finally finding an empty space far away from any food meat, she collapsed gratefully onto the bench. Thirty more minutes and she could respectfully turn in. She would've avoided this party altogether, but as part of their directive, she had to "learn."

Actually, she was surprised the colonel hadn't put up a bigger fight about this party, let alone this mission. Sam frowned again. Now that she thought about it, he had given in really easily. Too easily. But before she could really let her suspicion sink in another voice interrupted her.

"I don't know how you can sit so close to that fire."

"Excuse me?" Sam turned and, with pride, noticed she actually sounded pleasant. Another man stood in front of her and though his face was half in shadow, he was less smug than the first. And taller. And younger.

Way. Younger.

"The fire, how can you sit so close?"

That little line appeared between her brows again, deepening when she realized all this frowning was going to give her wrinkles. Was their fire more volatile on this planet? Was it transitive? Because if it _could_ move, this mission could quite possibly be salvaged from the seventh circle.

"Why not?" Her interest must have shown on her face because the stranger took a couple of steps closer.

"Because you are already so hot."

Haha. No.

Sam let a dangerous smile spread across her lips and let an even more dangerous laugh follow. Standing slowly, she took a few deep breaths, the colonel's earlier words tempering her response.

"_Who knows, Carter, it could be fun."_

"_Yes, sir." Hey, she couldn't help it if she was doubtful._

"_I mean it, Carter. Try to have fun."_

"_Sir-,"_

"_I'll make it an order." If she had been looking up, she would have seen the tiniest twinkle in his eye._

"_Yes, sir."_

"_And Carter?"_

"_Sir?" This time she did glance up._

"_Don't make the natives cry."_

_If she could have chucked something at him, she would have._

Right. No crying natives. Smiling tightly, she edged around the unintentional comedian. "No…thank…you…" The words came out oddly stretched and halting. She scrunched her face in an expression of pained awkwardness and bolted.

She was seriously done with this party.

But she didn't need to check her watch to know the colonel's imposed time minimum had not yet passed. Awesome.

A soft hand on her arm made her turn around. "Hello." A young woman stood shyly behind Sam, tugging at the braided belt she wore to cinch her white tunic. The dress led Sam to believe this girl was low royalty.

"Hi." She couldn't help but feel a little relieved. Maybe she'd found someone to at least use as a buffer.

"Come with me?" The girl had reached for Sam's hand, a shy smile still on her lips.

"Come with you where?" Sam moved her hand just out of reach.

The girl giggled and a high color rose in her cheeks. "A special place."

"Special." No question in her voice, just a statement.

"My…special place."

And then it hit Sam. Damn, was she wearing some sort of pheromone perfume? Never in her life had she been hit on this much in one night. Hell, in ten minutes.

Forget the seventh circle, this was a whole new dimension of uncomfortable hell.

"I'm okay." Sam back up a few paces, trying not to feel bad at the girl's fallen expression. "Thanks." Turning once again, Sam decided to hell with the colonel's order, she was going to bed.

Alone.

"Samantha." Sam grimaced. Her full name was never a good sign when it came to people offworld.

"Yes?" Sam plastered the fakest smile she could manage onto her face as she turned to face the only man she couldn't be rude to on the whole damn planet.

The goddamn king.

"You are looking very beautiful tonight." The king smiled pleasantly at her and spoke with the same tone as someone discussing the weather.

"So it seems." Sam pressed her lips together in what she hoped was a polite expression. "I'm sorry, I'm really tired. I think it's time I turn in." Hoping that would be the end of it, she couldn't help the slightly desperate noise she made when he called her back.

"Perhaps I could arrange more comfortable accommodations." Still casual.

"Our tent is plenty comfortable, your highness, thank you." Pressing her nails into her palms, Sam could practically feel her need to get away manifesting into an aneurysm.

"I insist, Samantha." And there went the casual.

Planting her feet, Sam did her best to lower her immediately raised hackles. "I prefer to stay with my team, your highness." The title grated against her teeth.

"And I prefer the company of my women."

Sam stood stockstill for a long moment, brain in total disbelief of what her ears were telling her. _'Be calm, be calm, be calm, be calm.'_ The words repeated over and over in her mind. _'You did not get to where you are by losing your temper at every misogynistic asshole who got in your way.'_

Sam took a deep breath, ready to politely—but firmly—turn him down when he reached out his hand. "Come now." And gestured at her to follow him.

'_Don't hit him!'_ The little voice in her head screamed and then her brain broke. She was pretty sure that aneurysm had manifested and was now breaking her brain. Breaking it into tiny little incoherent pieces warring with her own nature and her self control.

"I'm married." Yes. Her brain was definitely broken.

"What?" The king was taken aback, but didn't look incredibly concerned.

"What?" Though she wasn't quite sure to whom the question was directed at.

"You're married?"

"Yes. Yep. Married." Laughing awkwardly, Sam turned and began walking again, eyes wide. What the hell was she thinking? Married!

"I don't believe you." His mocking tone made her very skin itch.

"Well, it's true. Goodnight." Sam kept walking, her brain still trying to catch up.

"Prove it."

Sam froze. Well, damn.

"Prove it?"

"Yes. I see no ring upon your finger, no other adornment or decoration to suggest you are tied." The king patted his round belly proudly and cocked his head maddeningly at her.

"On duty. Can't wear jewelry." Why on earth was she justifying herself to this man?

"And you are out here, alone."

"No, he's here too." _What?! _

Real surprise stretched across the man's features and Sam had the sudden urge to laugh. Except her brain had just caught up. And now she was pretty sure she was going to puke.

"He came with you?"

"Yep. He's, um, on my team." Sam bit her lip and tried desperately to keep her eyes from squeezing shut against this increasingly awful situation.

"Which one is he?" Again, the sly smile crept onto his face. The little bastard didn't believe her! _'Well, that's because you're lying.'_ The helpful little voice reminded her.

"He's, um, he's over…" Sam trailed as she turned her head, looking for her imaginary husband. Teal'c! Yes! Teal'c was perfect! Huge, intimidating, and certainly not bad looking…and missing. Great. A quick sweep told her that the Jaffa had been smart and turned in early, heedless of the colonel's order. Okay…okay…Daniel! It was his fault she was in this mess anyway. "He's the guy with the…the ah…"

Sam bit down on her tongue when she finally caught sight of the archaeologist. He was sitting on top of one of the tables, gesticulating wildly as he told a surely fascinating tale to the gaggle of girls that surrounded him. Fine. She filed that image away to tell Janet later. Despite her current predicament, Sam smirked. Revenge would be sweet.

"My husband is…" And then her eyes landed on him. Well. Technically, this was all his fault too. And, technically, pretend married is not against the regulations. And, technically—ah hell. She was sure he owed her anyway. "Is that guy, over there." She pointed and, almost as if she'd shouted to him, his head immediately turned her way.

**TBC**

**A/N: Part two up soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Insistence**

**A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful feedback! You guys are the absolute best **** Here's part two! It's long, I'm sorry.**

**Enjoy!**

"Okay," General Hammond pressed his palms onto the briefing room table and looked around at his team. "Does someone want to explain to me why our open invite to P7X-454 has been rescinded?" His eyes were unreadable as he continued to stare at his people. Teal'c was the only one able to meet the general's eyes for longer than three seconds. "Teal'c?"

"I believe it was a simple difference of opinion, General Hammond." Teal'c bowed slightly, but shot a look at Jack. Unfortunately, or fortunately for Jack, Hammond had picked that exact moment to blink and missed the glare.

"A difference of opinion caused by?" Hammond pushed, running a hand over his brow. SG-1…his flagship team…and always his most troublesome. Another planet they were banned from and the only answer it seemed he would get was a soundbyte from Teal'c and three sheepish faces.

Business as usual, he supposed.

'_One more time. '_He decided. He'd try for the truth one more time and then he'd chalk it up to something better left unknown.

"Major."

"Yes, sir?" Sam looked up, eyes clear and innocent. Too innocent. He'd know Sam since she was a little girl and every time she did something her parents weren't going to like she'd blink up at them with those eyes and every time, _every time, _ she'd get away with it.

Probably this time too.

"Colonel!" He barked it unexpectedly, seeing if he could startle the man. Nope. Jack looked up slowly, his hands folded in front of him on the table. The picture of a perfect soldier. If Hammond hadn't already been sure this somehow revolved solely around Jack, this would have been the tip off.

"General?" Jack smiled just ever so slightly and Hammond felt his blood pressure rise just so. _'Don't taunt me, Jack. I'll have you flying a desk so fast your head will spin.'_ But he didn't say it out loud. Not this time.

"Doctor Jackson." Silence greeted him. Hammond narrowed his eyes and smiled just a little. He had found his in. "Doctor Jackson, do you have something you would like to add?"

"No, sir." Daniel kept his gaze on his fingers, which were planted firmly on the table. He felt _so bad_ about what had happened on the planet. Sam had wasted no time in telling him it was all his fault and then, just to add insult to injury, she was going to tell Janet about his little story group. "I wasn't even doing anything." He muttered, not realizing he'd spoken out loud.

"Doctor? Not doing what?"

Daniel scrunched up his face and went silent again.

"Doctor Jackson, I'd like to see you in my office." Hammond stood and glowered impressively at his people. "Alone." He added…and got the exact reaction he'd hoped for. Both Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill's heads snapped up, both expressionless, but tension suddenly making them rigid.

Even Teal'c twitched a little.

Hammond smiled triumphantly as he turned his back on the group. As he got to his office, he turned to look over his shoulder, his face a mask of innocence. "Dismissed, people."

Daniel stood, mouth set in a hard line, and studiously avoided Sam and Jack's eyes. Had he looked he would have seen identical expressions of "talk and I will murder you, and only because you're our friend, don't worry we'll make it quick. Maybe."

…..

Thirty minutes later found Daniel walking down the hall towards the elevators, his jaw a little slack, but otherwise no worse for the wear. Just as he pressed the button, two very familiar throat-clears sounded off behind him.

"Well?" Sam was the first to speak, arms crossed over her chest.

"Hi guys." Daniel squinched his eyes as he took off his glasses to clean them.

"Hi guys?" Jack cocked his head.

"Um, yeah. He wants to see you." Daniel replaced his glasses and stepped backwards into the elevator as the doors opened.

"Me?" Jack asked, glancing surreptitiously at Carter.

"Both of you."

Sam head dropped slightly. "I hope you told him it was all your fault." She grumbled, turning away from the elevator and starting for Hammond's office.

"No, guys, you don't understand! I didn't-!" But the doors had closed and Daniel was left in silence. Well, he reasoned, he'd tried.

…..

Sam and Jack paused outside of their superior officer's door, neither wanting to be the one to knock, and exchanged glances that each clearly said, "no, you." Finally, Jack rolled his eyes and rapped swiftly on the door.

"Come!" His voice gave them no indication as to his mood.

After another speedy eye conversation, Jack swallowed a grunt of frustration and entered the office first. _'First in first to die.'_ His mind couldn't help but taunt him, except instead of it being his own voice, it was Carter's. He could practically hear her happily singing it behind him. _'Just you wait, Carter.'_

"Colonel. Major." Hammond gestured at the two seats in front of him, face a hard mask. He could see the fear in both of his officers' eyes and took a moment to just relish it. It wasn't often he saw these two afraid. Okay, now to drop the bait…"I've just had a very interesting conversation with Doctor Jackson."

Sam's eyes shot to her right, only catching herself just before she turned her head to face Jack. _'Keep your cool.'_ She felt the air shift next to her as he tensed, unsure of what to do. Come clean on their own and maybe be shown some sort of mercy? Or wait until the other shoe dropped and feign ignorance? When was the last time they'd used the alien influence thing?

Cast the line…"Ah, so I see my favorite officer has decided to come out with it." A cheap trick, he knew. And a risky one. There was a very large chance they wouldn't go for it and all of his would be plans would unravel.

'_Crap, crap, crap. The colonel's gonna tell! No, okay, it wasn't actually his fault. I can't let him do this, I can't let him take the fall. Okay, okay, okay—'_

'_Carter, dammit, don't do it. I let it progress, it's my fault. No, Daniel's fault, but my fault after that. Actually, Teal'c went AWOL, so it's his fault too. But I'm definitely after him. Okay, here goes-,'_

"Sir, it's not how it sounds," Sam started, holding out a placating hand while next to her, Jack had broken into his own confessional.

"I'm pretty sure it's not even legal…"

Oh.

Hook, line, and sinker. Hammond smiled benignly and steepled his hands in front of him. "Now we're getting somewhere."

Major Carter's jaw dropped and she just sat there staring at him. He hadn't pulled this stunt on her since she was a kid and she and Mark would get into trouble. Mentally berating herself for falling for it yet again, she looked apologetically at Jack…who was staring apologetically right back at her.

"Who wants to start?" The general's expression didn't change, but Sam and Jack got the sense this was not the time to invent a story. Even if Daniel _hadn't_ spilled.

_The Previous Night_

"My husband is…" And then her eyes landed on him. Well. Technically, this was all his fault too. And, technically, pretend married is not against the regulations. And, technically—ah hell. She was sure he owed her anyway. "Is that guy, over there." She pointed and, almost as if she'd shouted to him, his head immediately turned her way.

She knew him well enough to know there was fear behind his carefully guarded eyes. And she was not ashamed to admit a little shiver of pleasure ran through her at the thought. Be afraid, colonel. Be very afraid. "Excuse me." She said to the king, turning her back on him for the umpteenth time.

"You have proven nothing, Samantha."

"Not yet, I haven't." She muttered.

Quickly, she moved towards her colonel, all the while watching him watch her approach. "Nice night, Carter." He knew. He knew he was in trouble.

"Yes, sir." Leaning down and carefully blocking his expression from the king with her body, she looked him dead in the eye. "Though less so for me."

"Rough time with the locals?"

Sam narrowed her eyes at him. He _knew?_ "This whole time…you just let it happen?"

"How was I supposed to know you weren't enjoying it?" He raised his eyebrows innocently.

Okay. That was _it_. Any chance there would have been for mercy had just gone out the window. Pushed out of it, in fact, by his "harmless fun" attitude. "Colonel." Sam bit out his rank, careful to keep it respectful, but using the same voice as when there was fourteen seconds to the self-destruct and they had no way off the ship _again._

"Carter." No rank, he wasn't going to dress her down. In fact, she got the strangest feeling he knew what was coming.

"You owe me." She narrowed her eyes.

"I do not!" He pulled back, scandalized.

If possible, Sam's eyes got even narrower. "Of course you do. And not just for not having my back tonight."

"I always have your back."

Feeling a little bit dangerous and a little bit giddy, Sam crooked the corner of her mouth up into a smirk the way she'd often seen him do. "I don't just mean my backside…sir."

Jack went very still, even his fingers stopped moving, and for a crazy second Sam thought he was going to grab her and kiss her like they do in the movies. But then he started to breathe again and that kind of made her stop breathing. Why did she suddenly feel like she no longer had the upper hand?

"Better be careful, Carter. That could have been interpreted as…salacious." Very slowly he stood and extricated his legs from the bench, careful not to widen nor close the distance between them.

"Salacious, sir?" Ha! Totally normal voice, achieved.

"Yes, Carter. There are more than ten words in my vocabulary." He allowed his head to bobble a little on his shoulders, stretching his fingers, and feeling just a tad too devil may care.

Sam felt something bubbling up in her throat, but she was fairly certain it wasn't going to be a cute laugh or witty comeback. More than likely it would be a weird little strangled sound and that would just not do at this moment. So, instead, she did the next best thing.

"Help me, or I'll make sure Teal'c knows exactly where his Star Wars DVDs went."

Jack's lips tightened and he glared at his second. "I told you that in confidence."

"You did. And now I'm telling you _with_ confidence—I _ will_ tell him." Sam smiled brilliantly at the only man she would ever let herself tease like this and held out her hand. "Your choice."

"My choice? Carter, I never had a choice." He was still glaring at her, but it wasn't with anger or frustration. It never had been, Sam realized.

"Well…good." Sam gave a little throat clear and found she suddenly couldn't meet his eyes. "Let's get this over with, then."

"Sure." A sudden grin spread across his face and Sam frowned, suddenly suspicious.

He took her hand and Sam turned, ready to face the music, when a sudden tug spun her back around. Crap, he'd gotten cold feet. No, he probably just realized how stupid this whole thing was and how they didn't actually owe anything to these people. All they had to do was leave. Yes! He was going to tell her to go get Daniel and Teal'c and they were going home! But the thought didn't actually make her happy. In fact, she was really frustrated. Just once, _once_, it might have been fun to let her deepest fantasy play out a little bit.

And then her thoughts kind of just stopped.

Jack fingers had tangled in her hair and his lips were suddenly on hers, soft at first, but his firm grip kept her from jerking back in surprise. But it was probably unnecessary. Mostly because she couldn't move. Her hands had reached up automatically, though whether or not it was to push him away or pull him closer, she hadn't decided.

Before her brain could fully comprehend what had just happened, he had pulled away. "Choices, she says." He muttered, looking beyond her at what she could only imagine was the king's surprised face. "Blackmail and choices." With a yelp she tried to swallow, she was suddenly lifted off her feet, one of the colonel's arms hooked beneath her knees and the other securely around her back.

Instead of being pissed off, she was grateful that they had each left their vests back at the tent. She doubted his little display would have gone as smoothly had they been encumbered by the equipment. "Um, colonel?" Sam scrunched her nose as he began walking, her feet bouncing in the air.

"Wait." He said. "Wave goodbye to the nice king."

Deliberately heading off the frown that was pushing its way into her eyebrows, she twisted her head around and waved at the retreating royalty. By the time they had reached the entrance of the tent and Jack had placed Sam back on her feet, she had had a few moments to think.

"It probably would have been easier to just tell him about the wedding." She shrugged, looking at her colonel in the darkened tent. "You know, made up some details about flowers and vows."

"Yes, but this way we didn't have to lie." He held up a finger and bounced on his heels.

"Except we did." Sam grinned despite herself at the way he could switch gears instantly. He had been so intense a minute ago and now he was back to his usually flippant self.

"Did we, though?" He took a step towards her and felt her heart start to race. This wasn't happening, was it? Now—here? Okay, so maybe she thought about how this would go down on every single mission they went on, but never in her wildest dreams did she think it would actually happen. She actually figured that one day, in a couple of years, when the Goa'uld were gone and Earth was safe that…well…he would invite her to go fishing and she would say yes and then things would just fall into place. Like a Rachel McAdams movie.

This though? Nope. Okay, adapt; change to fit the situation.

"I…no. No, we didn't." Sam deliberately dropped the rank.

"That's good. You know how I hate lying."

"I thought that was clichés."

"Semantics." Jack gave a lopsided shrug and cocked his head.

"Sir…" But the words had already left her brain, her mind apparently making itself up.

"Sam." Before she could even blink, he was in front of her, fingers threading through her hair for the second time that night. Pushing up on her toes, Sam closed the gap and met his lips, prepared this time. The kiss grew deeper, more frantic, more sure.

God she hoped Daniel and Teal'c didn't walk in.

…

"So bottomline this for me." Hammond rubbed his hands over his face.

Sam and Jack looked at each other. They'd been careful to leave out any really incriminating details, but the general wasn't stupid. "Well, sir, we may have accidentally participated in some rituals that mean we are legally married in that culture." Sam grimaced. Well, that just didn't sound all that good now that she'd said it.

"But I'm still pretty sure it's not. Here. Not legal here." He glanced at Sam with a half-apologetic, half-oh well look.

"I'm not sure about that, colonel."

"What?" Both of their heads whipped around, identical looks of panic crossing their features.

"You were there as anthropologists. Their customs became yours. And seeing how the ritual practice is theirs and your customs were their customs…I'm not sure this administration can take the events so lightly." Hammond leaned back in his chair, a look of firm sympathy on his face. "Colonel, Major…I'm sorry, but until we can look deeper into the matter, the marriage is legal."

Sam tried, she really did, to get some sort of intelligible response out. Jack, for his part, had suddenly found the ceiling to be fascinating. If the ground had opened up beneath them and sent them straight back to hell, neither would have complained.

"But, general, there weren't even rings." Jack's eyes didn't move from the ceiling and though he felt his mouth moving, he couldn't remember making the decision to speak.

"Maybe you'd better fix that." Hammond sighed as though the whole weight of the world had fallen on his shoulders. "Dismissed."

"General?" Sam's address was quick and higher pitched than when she had been seven.

"I can't discuss the matter further at this time, major. You will proceed with your duties as per usual and wait to hear back from me." Hammond stood, a clear sign for them to leave.

"General, SG-1…" Jack stood, meeting the general's eyes with a hard determination.

"Will proceed as per usual. Was I unclear, colonel?"

"No, sir!" Sam answered, accidentally making her voice sound too low in an attempt to compensate for her previous pitch. Grimacing, she quickly stood and all but ran out of the office, completely abandoning her commanding officer.

Oh well. He'd find his way out.

"Hold up a sec, James Earl Jones."

Sam didn't slow or turn around, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Carter!"

"Yes, sir?" Nope. Not turning around.

"This is all your fault."

"What?" Sam whirled, hands balling into fists.

"Easy, major." Jack wrapped gentle fingers around her elbow and tugged her to keep walking. "I just wanted your attention."

"Well, you've got it." They remained silent through the elevator ride and the walk down the corridor to her lab. An excruciating silence. This wasn't new to either one of them; acting like normal team members in public areas until they could find more isolated places. Except this time…she had expectations. And that was definitely new.

"Okay. Question." Jack sat, settling onto one of Sam's stools.

"Answer." Sam sat next to him, resting her elbows on the table.

"We can't actually be married, right?"

"On Earth, no. Anthropologists or no, our belief system and legal system is certainly not the same." Sam cocked an eyebrow. "You saying you don't want to be married to me?"

Jack didn't answer, but adopted an offended expression.

"Either way, I don't see why the general is taking this so seriously." She paused. "You know, something about the whole mission felt off. Why send us? Why with that directive? And _why_ were you so okay with everything that happened on that planet?"

Jack turned to face her, a thoughtful expression on his face. "Daniel told me this was a really important mission. I haven't seen him that earnest about anything since the whole Unas thing."

"Really? Daniel?" Sam frowned, wheels turning.

"Yeah. He said it was really important that we participate in all cultural events. My gut felt weird about the whole thing." Jack shrugged and looked at his second in command. "Hey."

"Hey." Sam smiled, wheels temporarily grinding to a halt when he grinned.

"Can a husband ask his wife out to dinner?"

Sam rolled her eyes and jutted her chin towards the clock. "It's 0400, sir."

"Breakfast, then."

"Sir—Jack." Sam pressed her lips together, a shiver running through her. "Is this a…a date?"

"Only if you want it to be." Jack's expression was open, but tentative.

Sam gave a soft laugh and bumped him with her shoulder. "Breakfast sounds great. Honey."

"Haha." Jack said, hopping off the stool and offering her the crook of his arm.

Sam laced her own arm through his and chuckled as they left her lab and began walking down the hall.

"Babe."

"Okay."

"Sweetie."

"Carter…"

"Lovey-dove?"

"Oi."

….

"Well?" Daniel leaned against the glass constellation map and eyed the grinning general.

"Well what, son?" Hammond looked innocently up at the archaeologist and Jaffa.

"Well, did it work?" Daniel was practically bouncing in anticipation.

The general shrugged.

"General Hammond, Daniel Jackson and I went through a great deal of trouble on this mission." Teal'c raised an eyebrow and Daniel nodded emphatically.

Hammond chuckled and shook his head. "It worked." Daniel did a little fistpump and Teal'c raised his eyebrow further. "For now."

"Yeah, Sam was already suspicious on the planet. I don't think it'll take her too long to figure it out."

"Not Jack?" Hammond asked curiously.

"I don't think he cares too much about the particulars in this case." Daniel half rolled his eyes.

"No, I guess he wouldn't." Hammond looked at the two med in front of him. "The locals weren't hard to convince?"

"Indeed, General Hammond. Many of them already found Major Carter most pleasing." The corner of Teal'c's mouth curved upwards.

"I'd give it an hour until she comes storming in here to get answers." Daniel gulped surreptitiously. The woman had blown up a sun, for God's sake.

"I'm not so sure. She and Colonel O'Neill left the base almost thirty minutes ago." Hammond shrugged one shoulder, still unwilling to fill out the details of their story in his mind.

"Together?"

"Indeed."

"Wow. Okay."

"Don't think about it too much, son." Hammond tapped his desk with his pen. "I think we can all successfully call it a night."

"Yes, sir." Daniel tried to smile, but the implications of their actions were starting to sink in. Visually.

"Goodnight, General Hammond." Teal'c half bowed and moved towards the door.

The sharp ring of the phone stopped them in their tracks.

The three men looked at each other.

Very slowly, Hammond stood up and, skirting the edge of his desk, joined Daniel and Teal'c at the door. "Gentlemen." He gestured out the door and they fled, leaving the insistent phone to sing to an empty office.

Somewhere off base, Sam snapped her cell shut, glaring at the offending object until it was swept from her view by a very insistent colonel.

**END**

**A/N: Well…that was not what I had planned. But I kinda like it. Please R and R!**


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